練習打中文

嗯。鄰居擦槍走火，子彈從她家的廚房，穿過我的臥房，Ｋ1的房間，客廳，穿過小院的玻璃門，穿過小街，到對街鄰居的客廳。

對街鄰居回家時，踩到沙發旁地毯上的子彈。
他們是ㄧ對年輕夫妻，他們往外看去，試圖想找出這子彈是從那裡平空出現，躺在他們淡駝色的地毯上。

我回家時，所有的鄰居，很多警察，很多警車，隔壁在草坪上辦 garage sale 的中年情侶，全部看著我，用ㄧ種詭異悲傷又欣慰的眼神看著我。

嗯。我沒事，小孩沒事。

只是，沒事的話，可以不要，嗯，把上了子彈的槍放在餐桌上嗎。

回來看自己

It's hard to come back here.

I sort of read through the paragraphs and there are moments of this strangeness  between the those words that I wrote years ago, and the current version of me.

At first, I was trying to move all my stuff to my hard drive. Sadly, I don't know how and gave up right away.

Maybe it is better. That these mumbling words stay where they are now. 

Maybe I will come back. Maybe not. 

I'm not the same person anymore. 

I'm crumbling apart from inside out. 

I'm a total stranger.

很多等待，在片場，無止盡的等待，無止盡的overtime。
那等待不時的讓人失去耐心。

回來的前題

在同時作著許多事，
邊聽最近迷上的德步西;
邊整理筆記;
然後用一個新系統整理email時，
看見自己這個很荒涼被自己遺棄的部落上的文字像幽魂似的飄了出來，
讓自己想到原來我真真實實那樣活著那樣想望著生活和周遭，
而在這裡可以被記下，所以還能見到之前生活的魂魄，是要感謝的。
距離上ㄧ篇po文，有三年的時間，而這三年果真都被壓得沒有一點泡沫滴落下。
有沒有人懂我在說什麼，沒關係，重要的是我說了。

回來

很久沒來這掃灰塵, 一個朋友偶然提起無意間發現這裡, 我就拿了鑰匙, 開了門進來看看。
空氣中混雜著灰塵, 而我不停打著噴涕。
有些陌生, 有些熟悉。
給我一些時間, 把這裡打掃一下, 我要回來了。

Silence

Don't how does it come to this, I mean myself. I'm at this stage of totally shouting down myself. And just want to be with myself, only me. The time has come, the time of devoting all to myself, quietly.

echo

Whatever you try to avoid or ignore before, it will find its own way back to haunt you.

A quote of the day

I think it is easier to write down something, maybe not in your first language about yourself.
Because it's so hard to face myself sometime.
I was weak, and yes I realize the outcome of publicly admitting that I feel vulnerable from time to time.
And I'm not shame of it.
At least that is a start, at least, in my opinion.